(A couple of weeks before I left on my latest journey I was thinking a lot about the topics mentioned in the title. I present them in unconnected form because I'm too lazy to try and work them into a single, flowing essay.)
"The Physics of the Quest - A force in nature governed by laws as real as the force of gravity. If you're brave enough to leave behind everything familiar and comforting - which can be everything from your house to bitter old resentments - and set out on a truth-seeking journey (either internally or externally) and if you are truly willing to regard everything that happens to you on that journey as a clue; if you accept everyone you meet along the way as a teacher; and if you are prepared, most of all, to face and forgive some very difficult realities about yourself, then the truth will not be withheld from you."
-From "Eat, Pray, Love" (The movie. This quote is not in the book.)
*************************************
On a quest for peace, one must ask what is preventing it in the first place. If I define or characterize peace as "satisfaction" with oneself and their situation. then logically, if one is not at peace, they must be dissatisfied. So what causes dissatisfaction? It seems that the only cause of a sense of dissatisfaction is that one imagines or dreams of a different situation which they imagine is better than their current one. There are two ways to go about dealing with this dissatisfaction - the first, and most obvious, is to work towards actualizing that situation. The problem is, even if one succeeds, the satisfaction derived from it will more than likely be impermanent. Dreams, or rather, hope, can be like a drug, or hunger - you can satiate hunger by feeding it, or realizing your hopes, but chances are, before long you will imagine something else to hope for, just as you will be hungry again in a few hours. Many would argue that this is how it should be - that "striving" is the point - we must have goals towards which we work. If you accept this, fine, but it's not the only way. The second way to deal with dissatisfaction is to confront, not the objective of hope, but the act of hope itself - to realize that hope is a distraction. If one wants to be satisfied here and now, one must distance themselves from the distraction of hope - to "conquer" it. If one is not distracted by what could be, only then can they truly appreciate what is.
*************************************
In the comic book series "The Sandman", Morpheus, the King of the Dreaming, ventures into Lucifer's Hell in order to reclaim something that was stolen from him. There, he finds the instrument and wins it back. At the conclusion of the confrontation, just as he was about to leave, Lucifer - surrounded by countless minions - asked Morpheus why he should let him go. Morpheus replies by asking him (paraphrasing) "What is hope, but a dream of something better? And what power has Hell over it's inhabitants without that hope?" Hope itself creates our hell. Fear, and it's despair, are nothing until illuminated by that hope.
*************************************
Hope is to fear, as light is to darkness. One cannot exist without the other. To hope for something is to fear its absence. If one is to conquer fear, they must do the same to hope. Hope does not conquer fear - it begets it.
*************************************
If we can become enslaved by our fears - so too can we be enslaved by hope.
*************************************
Fear for ourselves is a lack of faith in ourselves. As we learn to conquer our fears, our faith in ourselves increases. The final step is absolute confidence that comes without fear or contemplation. From that point we simply are and we do. Failure, of course, may still occur - we are none of us perfect in action or judgement - but it is no longer an impediment.
*************************************
A long time ago, my old friend Jane once said that I had no faith. I don't think she was just referring to a god, but in general. Slowly, very slowly over the years, I've been forcing myself to take chances when there is no guarantee of success (I guess that is what taking a chance is) and failure could mean disaster (or, you know, complete humiliation anyway.) I'm learning to jump without seeing a net - hoping it will be there.
*************************************
With each step I blindly take into nothing, only for my foot to find some purchase there, my faith increases slightly. Eventually, it would seem, I should come to a point where I would walk without hesitation. Without fear.
*************************************
Perhaps the reason I love adrenaline rush type activities is that it involves small jumps of faith. That, despite the seeming danger, I probably won't actually die. Every action done in this way helps to conquer fear by familiarizing yourself with it. We fear what is unfamiliar, and we are reluctant to face our fears - to familiarize ourselves with them. If there is nothing to fear, but fear itself...
*************************************
Years ago Frank Miller did a run in the Daredevil comic series. In it, DD's nemesis, the Kingpin, discovered his true identity and proceeded to strip the man of everything that he had and was. The idea being that to destroy the man was to destroy the hero. Then he realized his mistake - "I have shown him, that a man without hope, is a man without fear." When I first read that, I thought it was brilliant. Years later, in my most depressed and hopeless of states, the sentiment seemed a little hollow. After all, without hope, what is there? Now, on this journey and in life (and by slowly conquering my fears) I hope to learn that a man without fear has no need of hope.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Interesting...
ReplyDelete