Fear: Part 2 (or "The World's Gonna End Tomorrow! Wanna Grab a Coffee Next Week?")

So we're facing the end of the world, again. Tomorrow, it seems, is the rapture. I guess this means that we'll never get to find out exactly what is supposed to happen on Dec 21st, 2012. Too bad - I was kinda lookin' forward to that one.

I've only been in Vancouver for a few weeks, but I can't help but notice a bit of anxiety - of a sense of doom. And not just in the city either - it came up on my short trip to the Island as well. I wonder if it's a new phenomenon here. A result of the earthquake in Japan. Or does it pre-date it, like a northern equivalent of the American west coast sliding into the sea along the San Andreas fault?

Obviously doomsaying is nothing new. What I find interesting, however, is that there is a certain degree of desire in some (a lot?) of us for it to be true - that we actually want the world to end. Seriously, how else can one explain the popularity of the qualitatively abysmal films of Roland Emmerich? (Director of "The Day After Tomorrow"and "2012", to name 2.) Perhaps I'm alone, but I think that at least part of the audience is secretly hoping that the heroes fail. I believe it stems from a basic human desire to be historically significant. After all, who wants to be completely forgotten in a hundred years? Of course, not everyone will do great (or even terrible) deeds, but if not as individuals, perhaps we can at least live during significant times. And what is more significant than the end of times?

But there is more to it than that. I've written before about the survival instinct - that for the last 10-12,000 years (beginning of "civilization") and especially the last 100 or so, we (homo sapiens) have been moving further away from, and essentially ignoring, 200,000 years worth of evolution. So much of our efforts were dedicated to simply surviving - shelter, food and defense. Most of us in the developed world no longer need to think about such things, at least not in a direct way (concerns related to working a job and paying a mortgage are not the same.) But on the odd occasion when one of our basic needs is lacking or threatened, so awakens the instinct to fulfill or protect it. And it can be invigorating! Like a dormant sense that has been awoken. Years ago, for some forgotten reason (I think it was my birthday, and I tend to hate birthdays - or I did for awhile) I was in a pretty foul mood. I was by myself and decided I wanted to get drunk. So I went to the bar where I worked and did shot after shot - with no effect (sometimes it seems like a mood can be so severe, no artificial means can alter it.) At closing time I decided to hit one of the late-night places in a slightly seedier part of town. As I turned a corner, some guy gave me a hay-maker right across the nose, completely out of the blue and for no reason. After I regained my senses I looked around, but he was already some ways away, and I didn't see much point in pursuing him. So I went into the bar to clean my bloody nose and have a shot of tequila, then went home. The odd thing was, I was in a great mood the next day. It was as if the guy literally punched some sense into me. The only explanation I could think of for my unexpected reaction was that it must have awoken some sort of primitive instinct in me - something that was long asleep, and now awake. I've had similar reactions upon hearing of various disasters - natural or otherwise. My over-riding reaction isn't grief for the victims, but a profound elation that I survived (the fact that I was never in danger is immaterial. Though, granted, had I been, my reaction might be different. I've never truly been in a life-threatening situation.) I've rarely admitted this to anyone due to the fact that surely some would consider me a sociopath (and perhaps rightly so.) (I must also concede the possibility that these instincts may largely be male-centric.) I believe that the "threat" of a soon-to-be armageddon reawakens those little-used instincts. It presents us with a "fight" - something that at least some of us rarely experience.

Tomorrow also happens to be the day that I am leaving on an adventure down through the States and into Mexico. I don't have a lot of money, I know next to nothing about my travel partner and the news reports of drug-killings on the northern border of Mexico are sensationalistic. I know there are people who think I'm insane (as well as people who would really think nothing of such a thing.) In any case - be it apocalypse or adventure - to quote an obvious song when writing about the end of the world as we know it - I'm "feelin' pretty psyched."